i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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