How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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