I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
