Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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