i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
