My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
