trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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