I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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