we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
