2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm lost and stupid without you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I will be naked everywhere
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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