i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
