nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
