smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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