i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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