My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
