i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
