Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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