even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
