My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
