turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize