all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
