I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
