in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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