found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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