I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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