Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
