Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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