you're like a bully in the Christmas story
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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