Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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