Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
