My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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