I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
