The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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