I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
