Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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