my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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