Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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