is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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