i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My ATM looks so different sober.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
