u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
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Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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