We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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