If i come over, it means nothing
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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