OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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