Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm too high and old for this...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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