that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
