Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
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This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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