I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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