I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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