Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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