Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
