Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
