So gin and wine won't be happening again
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
