Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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