seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
When are your genitals available?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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