he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
