i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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